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Oct 17/13

Southern Halloween Costumes in Your Closet Posted by: Dan | 0 Comments

Southerners take things notoriously slow — talking (add syllables as desired), pie eating (savor it), driving on two-lane highways (slow down to irk passing Yankees), Halloween costume planning (you got cowboy boots and western shirts galore). I’m not implying that procrastination is a Southern trait, but this slow-moving Southerner can already feel a last-minute costume coming on.

In the spirit of helping you procrastinate and still end up looking like you own the place, we’ve compiled a short list of Halloween costume ideas you can pull off mostly by using essential Southern attire you probably already have in your closet.  

Dolly Parton
Basics: blonde wig, sequin ‘80s cocktail dress, red lipstick, eyebrow pencil, two balloons (inflated to capacity)

halloweenwillie

Willie Nelson
Basics: red bandana, cowboy hat, black t-shirt, hairbands (for braiding your long, luxurious hair, gentlemen) or a long, dirty blonde wig

Paula Deen
Basics: silver wig (give it some Farrah Fawcett swoop), button-up blouse from your mom’s closet, black eyeliner, optional jar of mayonnaise or stick of butter (to carry around for emphasis and snacks), your biggest smile ever.

Johnny Cash
Basics: Black pants, black shirt, black coat, black boots, black hair dye, pomade, a guitar, your best bad boy pout.

halloweenmarktwain

Mark Twain
Basic: cigar, voluminous mustache, white pants, white shirt, white vest, white jacket, white wig, hair spray … pretty much the opposite of the Johnny Cash costume

Wendy Davis
Basics: blonde wig, fashionable striped trench coat, blue floral dress underneath coat, pink tennis shoes

halloweenoprah

Oprah Winfrey
She’s got a lot of looks, so this one’s tricky. Go with her fabulous, raved-about look from the September 2013 cover of O Magazine. Basics: orange cocktail dress, sparkly headband, chandelier earrings, the biggest ‘fro wig you can find (if you don’t already rock this ‘do).

The KFC Colonel
See Mark Twain costume.

Shania Twain
Basics: flat iron, leopard-print suitcase, leopard-print gloves, leopard-print boots, leopard-print pants, leopard-print bra, leopard-print coat … basically just sacrifice those leopard-print curtains you have hanging in your bedroom and swaddle yourself in them.

halloweenqueen

The Sweet Potato Queen
Basics: fishnet pantyhose, green sequin dress you’ve safety-pinned some pink fringe to, red ankle boots, sunglasses, pink ankle boots, red wig, all your sass

Daisy Duke
Red plaid shirt tied in the front, cut-off shorts … that’s pretty much it.

 

Willa Dean finds a way to incorporate cut-off shorts into her Halloween costume every year because that’s all she has in her closet. Write her at willadeanwriter@gmail.com.


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