Top 10 Signs You Might Be From Kentucky Posted by: Aaron Stearns | 0 Comments
Ah, the Commonwealth. The Bluegrass State. All horse farms and white fences and green hills. Smell the fresh air. And the coal pollution. Kentucky is where colonels fry chicken and babies bounce basketballs at birth. Some old dead guy named Lincoln was born in Hodgenville, Ky. His wife, Mary Todd, was from Lexington, which is where George Clooney’s from, too. Johnny Depp was born in Owensboro, in the western part of the state.
Wanna know a little known fact (i.e., something totally made up) about Lincoln, Clooney and Depp? All three have been People’s Sexiest Man Alive. Must’ve been Honest Abe’s stovepipe hat. Representing Kentucky on the national stage: Sens. Rand Paul and Mitch McConnell. Sorry about that, nation. Oh, and Billy Ray Cyrus was born in Flatwoods, Ky. He fathered Miley. Guess we should apologize for that one, too.
Here’s the Top 10 Signs You Might Be From Kentucky:
1. You can’t read this post. But you can read a racing form.
2. You’re drinking bourbon while somebody reads you this post.
3. Fido is a Thoroughbred. And New Year’s resolutions go into effect after the first Saturday in May.
4. You know all the words to “My Old Kentucky Home” and cry happy tears when the crowd sings it before the Derby.
5. You’ve named your boy (or, hell, even your girl) after Calipari or Pitino.
6. It’s pronounced “Lou-uh-vull.” Or to the rest of the state: “The big city.”
7. Mmmmm, barbecue mutton. Burgoo, too.
8. You prefer your mountains topless. (Gotta get to the coal somehow, right?)
9. You and your coworkers go on strike once a year. Some refer to this period as “March Madness.”
10. “(Expletive) Laettner.”
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Josh Moss is the managing editor of Louisville Magazine. He’s drinking bourbon right now.