Most of us want to be more confident, even if we don’t say it overtly. However, the thoughts are always there. “If only I were more confident, I would be able to start my own business, the girl I like would give me attention, I would get a raise at work.”
It’s okay to question your confidence. It’s not okay to think there’s nothing you can do about it. Confidence is something you build, not something you are born with.
Take Stock of Past Success
To start building your confidence, you need to set the right mood. Think back to moments in life when you felt great. You’ll show yourself what you’re capable of by remembering past successes.
Write down your past wins on a piece of paper. Put it on your fridge to remind yourself every day of how awesome you actually are.
Believe in Your Judgment
You need to believe in your decision-making abilities if you want to become a more confident man. You won’t know whether you’re taking the right steps if you don’t believe in yourself.
To affirm to yourself that you have the experience and the intelligence to make good and sound decisions, try practising mindfulness. It’s easier to uncloud your mind when you’re focusing only on the present.
Get to Know Yourself
Often, when someone comes up to us and asks us what we are doing, we get confused or frustrated. Such questions catch us off guard because of our own insecurities. These kinds of questions won’t destabilize you if you know yourself, your abilities, and your goals.
Reflect on your strengths and weaknesses. By doing so, you’ll be able to better learn what you are capable of doing and what you are not capable of doing.
You can even ask your family and friends what they think your strengths and weaknesses are. As you start seeing patterns, you may become more empowered.
It may be a good idea to take a personality test as well. Personality tests can be a valuable tool as they can help you understand your way of thinking.
Focus on Self-Care
Self-confidence and self-esteem are deeply intertwined, and self-care helps boost both confidence and self-esteem. Confident men take care of themselves. They are okay with wanting to improve their personal appearance as well, among other things.
For instance, you could hit the gym, find your personal fashion style, try taking vitamin and mineral supplements for men, invest in new, quality grooming products and develop a grooming routine that’s designed to minimize problem areas and accentuate your strengths.
There’s plenty you can do, but it’s important to note that self-care is much more than a means to improve your appearance. Sure, we all like hearing things like, “You look great today, did you do something with your hair?”, but self-care is also about maintaining wellness and creating positive change.
One of the key differences between an insecure man and a confidant man is the fact that the first one doesn’t take action while the other does. Both of them experience anxiety, apprehension, and fear. But, a confident man won’t let such feelings hold him back.
The best way to combat these feelings is to take action on a daily basis. Through repetition, you will get used to the fact that the anxiety, apprehension, and fear of the unknown are normal feelings that all of us experience and face regularly.
This way, you’ll strengthen your “muscle of action”. When faced with new challenges and obstacles, It will make it easier for you to push through and keep moving forward. Here are a few steps that can help you get used to taking action:
- Make your bed every morning
- Develop a morning routine (meditation, self-care, workout, etc.)
- Create tangible daily projects that play into your long-term goals
- Ask yourself what you stand to lose by not taking action
- Every day, do something you don’t feel like doing
- When you feel fear and anxiety, look into what has brought about those feelings
Embrace Your Failures
Failing can be good for you as it means that you are actually trying to achieve something. Striving to achieve your goals is a mark of a confident man. Before you learned how to ride a bike, had you not fallen hundreds of times?
The best way to fight the power of shame that holds many men hostage is to accept the fact that you will fail sometimes. Confident men embrace failure as proof of action.
To combat the fear of failure, do some activities you know you are bad at, or you don’t know how to do. For instance, If you’re bad at playing basketball, give it another shot! Try a new sport, learn how to play a musical instrument, learn how to dance, etc.
You may not achieve every single goal you want, and that’s also fine. The more important thing is to get used to not being great at something and not letting that stop you from trying. Often, the journey is more important than the destination.